Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
