Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
