If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.