so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
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I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
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Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?