Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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