At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
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It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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