Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just found a bag of teeth...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
