I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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