the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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