He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
