dude i'm inner monologue high
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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