And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Is it because I queefed?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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