Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
