Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
time to smoke my breakfast
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
