I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize