So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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