What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize