she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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