so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
