Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
