did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize