i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
