? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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