we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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