I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
