At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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