Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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