They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
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there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
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Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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