How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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