just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize