I hate your face
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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