Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
