i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize