You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
