Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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