He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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