Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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