redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
