i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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