just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
