Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
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Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
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Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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