Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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