So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we're making bets on your personal life
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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