So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
