is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
