I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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