Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
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