Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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