I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
