You just made me feel so damn special
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize