We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
