Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
