So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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