Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize