Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
