I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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