Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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